Pencils and Hugs

Often as I am shuffling children, books, papers, pencils, and let’s not forget trying to find pencils with actual erasers that haven’t been already rubbed off completely ….whew…that sentence was ridiculously out of sorts…as I often am when attempting to do it all at once…

As I began… I am often doing all these good things, yet I find myself becoming the drill sergeant of our daily doings.

I too easily forget why we chose to Home educate. I to quickly become an assembly line of …”you do this!”, “stop doing that!”, “What on earth are you doing?”, and my all time favorite “Get out of the refrigerator, we are doing school!”

I truly saw God’s hand in our decision to Home Educate. With all my heart I knew it was my purpose to raise up our children in a Christ centered home. We were to disciple and teach the children God had given us.

Too quickly I become self-centered, frustrated, and complacent. Our schooling becomes a battlefield of them vs. me. This was not the original plan.Somewhere along the line it became distorted.

I have wonderful children. They are obedient and helpful, but they are still just children. Learning and growing. Developing in character and knowledge.

I remind myself I am also still growing in many ways also and we all need grace. I am so grateful for that.

The Verdict: Pencils and books are very important, but hugs and gentle words are imperative.

Image result for a gentle answer

I am challenging myself this year to grow in love, gentleness, kindness and self-control in my relationship with my children. To hug my kids more often. To remind them how much I love and appreciate them. Encourage them to be who the Lord wants them to be.

My challenge is that each time I see a pencil in our home I will be reminded of my commitment to my God and to my children. To love, disciple and to discipline with love and self-control.

I will have many reminders daily, for we have many pencils in our home….many is quite honestly an understatement.


















An Old Cottage…New Lessons…

I was a bit nostalgic today. I found my afternoon thinking back to the old church camp meetings I used to attend with my Grandparents. My Grandfather and Grandmother traveled the states, the globe really and lended a hand to leaded choirs and spreading the Word of Christ through music and preaching.


We would stay in old cottages with no air conditioning, mosquitos and showers where one would stand on a wooden . Very little of it sounded attractive , but the memories of it all seems so delightful. People would spend weeks at a time in their summer camped out in old cottages or tents just to hear the Word of God every day and fellowship with other believers as they ate and talked.

I was listening to BBN today on the radio and although it’s not my favorite music, the memories that it brings and joy I find in it makes it lovely.

At age 34, I feel as though I watch the world go by at such a fast pace, I find refuge in the old ways of our world. The times where often we didn’t questions God’s Word like we do today. People were quicker to believe what God said was true, rather than today we assume that what we think is correct.

People of today look at hymns and the Old ways of the church as ignorance at times.

Judging music by its likabilty rather than what it might teach us….

Those old tents and cottages taught me many lessons.

In the old outside open air church, I find myself remembering a fresh love for Christ.

A patient heart and a desire to just be a part of God’s people and to see him at work.

I like afternoons like this=)


A Lot Horrible…and A Little Good…

I am sitting with a warm cup of coffee and listening to Christmas music as my boys build wooden blocks on the floor.

Yes, I know it’s bit early for Christmas music…but I just can’t help myself.

I know that some are saddened that the hot weather has passed, but I have to say that I absolutely love this time of year.

The chill in the air, the coziness I feel in a warm sweater and baking seems so much more appropriate than in the summer.

I think warm fresh bread tastes better in the Fall and Winter.

Yesterday my five-year old son was asking to try a sip of my warm decaf-coffee. I humored him and waited for the response I’d get after he tried it.

He looked very thoughtful for a moment and said…“Well mommy…It’s a lot horrible…and a little good”. He got me thinking, as often my boys do with light bulb moments that remind me check in with my personal thought life.

It reminded me that far to often I allow one negative thing in my twenty-four hour days to dictate how my whole day is viewed.

The day can be going beautifully and there can be a terrible smudge that appears…a child argument between brothers…so many good things can occur in a day….but then my positive view the day becomes destroyed. Just one minute is all it takes. Homeschooling has been a tremendous blessing, but there are those moments when you wish the school bus would come pick them all up. ( In a moment of frustration.)

Do you ever have this happen? Frustration attempts to take hold of your day…plowing through even  the most positive of days. Just that one event or moment takes charge of your attitude toward the rest of your day.

I have in fact been working on this in my heart and my head. Praying God would make me aware of my attitude and how I view the very breath He gave me…each second…not to neglect joy that He provides in my life, even when ugliness occurs.

So my goal this week is to make a habit of happiness.

When the things that make my day dark occur…I want to get through them and come out the other side still thankful and appreciative of the day, regardless of its bumps and pot holes that attempt to flatten my tires and take me off my path.

Be encouraged in moments like these.We can pass through the dark clouds and return to the bright day of sunshine first with the help and strength of the Lord, and our willingness to be aware and be be proactive about the outcome of our attitude.

Sleepy Or Wide Awake…

Awake, yet drowsy…my day began slowly and with a bit less intention then normal.

That warm cup of coffee greeted me kindly, yet I still found myself moving in slow motion.

Conversation wasn’t easy with my children, and my attempt to mediate scuffles

was lacking in zeal…

I’m tired today…more impatient…

Instead of sitting alone on mornings like this…tearing myself away from the noise, I found myself comforted by read my Bible in the comfy corner chair in my living room.

There was still the tick toc of time passing and the kids playing…

but I found myself inching closer to my Savior in the midst of the sleepy, impatient, desire to take the day off kind of morning.

Mornings such as these don’t require more sleep, (maybe a little)

more coffee,(well….maybe yes)

but for me it is a time to remember my moods…my actions and what I represent to my children.

When my children look at me,

do they see a picture that they want to appreciate, one with purpose and beauty, one that when on the wall makes the room brighter…

or is it a piece of scrambled art…nothing makes sense and you can’t make out what it’s purpose was in the first place…

This morning, tired or not…I desire to represent what Jesus calls us to do…

Love one another…

with our words…our actions…in all we are…

in our home…

getting into the Word and receiving encouragement through it’s pages…calming my heart and opening it to the refreshing of it’s Truth…bring me closer daily

to who I want to be in Him…and for my children…as we learn together daily…

what our purpose is…

Sleepy…or wide awake…

we can still grow in Him.

The Wheels On The Bus…

School begins in our county tomorrow. Many first day of pictures will be taken…buses will be driving down the road..parents move back into their fall schedule…

So as the wheels on the bus go round and round, so do the seasons. So here we go once again and parents are purchasing notebooks, pencils, markers, zip locks…etc…

I realize..that being that this is a year long process for us…I am discovering how much I enjoy school time.


We always seem to have uncountable amount of school supplies

in our school drawers and extras for (just in case) moments when

we need a new school items.

Going into our second solid year of homeschooling I realize that I have become what you might call a bit of a “crazy for school” kind of mom.

The school supply isle in the stores gets me all giddy and I can help but to smell the paper and hold the new boxes of crayons. It’s sort of an addiction…

We’ve added some new subjects this year…History of America and Second grade science and an Art Class to our already full platter of subjects.

When our new curriculum came 3 months ago…it was like Christmas.

We were opening the boxes and the boys were so excited to see what had come for them.

My 4 year old was thrilled to find an ant hill, butterfly garden and Cuisenaire rods and activity book were a part of his learning curriculum.

My 7 year old found the History curriculum he’s begged for and the Art book had him really smiling.

His read aloud books were many,including Squanto, On the Banks Of Plum Creek, and an awesome American Pioneer book, and so many more great books.

I guess you could say..the excitement for school supplies and curriculum in our home is quite contagious.

So as we continue our year round process, we wish you a wonderful day back to school.

Happy Schooling Everyone,

Tales From Inside My Heart…

So many tales from inside of my heart remain filed away, hidden from plain sight. Yet my God brings them forth…stories I have yet to hear, only God knows their beginnings and ends…and in-betweens…

He knows what inside my heart, my mind and soul.

My Father…

I have struggled for so long…allowing God to be my Father…

to care for me…discipline me..teaching lessons with reproof, love and grace…designed to strengthen and protect me…

To allow Him to love me unconditionally…what’s that? Are you kidding me?

Without condition? Without anything in return He would love me? Really? He loved me before I was made…? What’s the catch?

I had to ask His forgiveness. I had put Him in a human box. Treating Him like he was a man. Like another person, just a person. Someone we try to please, in hopes of their approval and affirmation. I have feared His rejection without even realizing it…till now.

I wasn’t treating Him like the immense God and Father that He is.

I realized I couldn’t understand “unconditional” and feared even the loss of God’s love for me, as I would a loved one here on earth…

His love is not like our love…It’s greater, so unfathomable…it’s forgiving…completely…forgiving…

My Father…shows great love…constantly…without end…for His creation…

I am learning, discovering daily, and trusting HIm.

His strong hands that carry me, like a

Father carries His sleeping child and tucks them peacefully into their secure and familiar bed.

He carries us with His unconditional love wrapped around us.

His arms protect us and desire to love us, and us to love Him.

Without condition…we can trust…His love…


Waiting patiently has never been one of my strong suits. I can be kind to others while waiting…I am not normally rude or show ugliness…just impatient. My brain starts short circuiting and I start getting anxious and just want to get things moving.

I admit this to you because I struggle with this on a daily basis. Whether it be…waiting in line…waiting for my boys to get in the van and buckle…waiting for visitors to come…waiting on God …. I must say, I think that one is the most difficult.

I just want  things to happen and get moving…get past all the waiting….

Where do you want me God? My family? Where is our future? Where will we live…what will we do ….and see….?

I have recently seen how driven and out of control my impatience really is.

I’ve been praying that the Lord will grow me up, and replant that Fruit of the Spirit in my heart. That fruit in me has been looking a lot like the dead flowers outside sweltering in the heat of the summer.

Although I don’t know what the future holds,  I know who holds the future.

They are hands that are stronger, bigger and kinder than mine. They are hands that wait on me all the time…waiting for me to listen…waiting for the selfishness in my life to change to servanthood…waiting for me to give not only what is convienient…but to give till it hurts…teaching me to wait for those answers…and be ready to listen when the come.

Being taught patience can be painful and challenging, but I’m discovering how beautiful the process can also be. I am so thankful that God has shown me one of my major weaknesses. Seeing the beauty of life in a totally different light can be both humbling and precious.

Like those wilted flowers desperate for water, they are reclaiming their beauty with a lot of water and some miracle grow…I choose the growth and beauty that comes from patience.