The morning had begun with a feeling of fog and edginess. Woken up to three boys toppling over each other into our bed.
My brain was refusing to wake up and quite frankly I didn’t feel like it.
After rising, retrieving a warm cup of coffee and gobbling up a muffin I had already decided this wasn’t going to be a good day for schooling right away. After 2 weeks of colds and pink eye, we’d been quarantined to our home and I think today was starting to represent the cabin fever and overload I was beginning to feel.
We got dressed and headed to the store for some new jeans.
My poor boys have been walking around with high waters on lately because of the rapidness of their growth, and slowness of my jean purchases.
The jeans purchase was successful.
My oldest asked if we could swing by the book store on the way home. A great place to go, I thought. The children’s area fantastic for young and old. A train table and books galore.
As our successful trip was coming to a close.. my oldest and I had been seeking out some good reading material. Six good chapter books and Test Prep book that I had been looking for.
On our way out I stopped…I shouldn’t have…just to look through the education section…just one more peek…the shopping trip had been fairly uneventful.
Then it happened…IT….Happened….The Dam broke…
My 4 year sat on the floor…began to scream and cry. To insist his legs no longer worked. I covered his mouth in the attempt to stifle the loudness of his cries..in order that I could hear my myself think…so that I could explain his demise if the temper tantrum didn’t stop.
If I would have been smart I would have left immediately, but we’d spent so much time looking for good reading material…I hated to forgo the purchase.
I went to the front pushing my 2 year old in the stroller…my 7 year old wondering behind…looking around slowly as I hurried to the front. Just praying that no one would notice the crying child in my arms.
I sat him on the floor to pay, he remained upset..refusing to stand…looking as though he’d been left for the wolves and he was devastated. I was cheerfully talking to the clerk as my insides were dying in embarrassment and I was completely horrified.
On our ride home I was thinking ahead to how I was going to handle my 4 year old and how to discipline him once we arrived home.
When all was said and done and all was dealt with once home, I sat down exhausted and starting to think.
I woke up feeling just like my 4 year old acted. Quite frankly, I wanted to kick and scream most of the day.
In fact, the way I responded to my children today wasn’t very kind, and I know for a fact I was much kinder to the clerk at the store than I had been to my children the whole morning.
Hmm……I began to wonder if maybe I had been frustrating my children. Maybe I myself was at least 80% of the problem…
I know when someone is short with me, impatient and who’s words are loving and kind…I want often become hurt and often get angry or want to cry.
This was a good lesson learned for me. In spite of all that occurred. It turned out very positive. My 4 year asked for forgiveness for his temper tantrum ,disobeying and for causing “confusion and delay” (as said in his favorite t.v show , Thomas the tank engine). I then asked for his forgiveness for my ugliness…and for being very impatient. He forgived me and we hugged.
What a precious moment. To forgive and be forgiven all at the same time. It’s quite humbling. Although the day began rough and bumpy, I feel it will resume with a lot more kindness and patience on my part.
Sometimes we as parents are the one’s who really need the discipline. It’s not an easy way to grow, but it works!